Thoughts mid-July

And a scribe came up and said to him, "Teach, I will follow you wherever you go." And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." - Matthew 8:19-20

First let a little love find entrance into their hearts, and the rest will follow. - St. Philip Neri

Cast yourself into the arms of God and be very sure that if He wants anything of you, He will fit you for the work and give you strength. - St. Philip Neri

The Church is the meeting of the cross bearers, a support group for people with weighty ones. Look around you at Sunday Mass. Everybody has splinters in their shoulders. - Timothy Cardinal Dolan

Put your hand in His hand, and walk alone with Him. Walk ahead, because if you look back you will go back. - Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

Oh I heard a thousand stories
Of what they think You're like
But I heard a tender whisper of Love
In the dead of night
And You tell me that You're pleased
And that I'm never alone
You're a Good, Good Father
That's who You are
That's who You are
That's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am
It's who I am
It's who I am

Sometimes, I have a truly difficult time in knowing that I belong to this Body, to this Church, to anything. And in those times I feel the weight of this relentless longing and desire to belong somewhere. To someone. To be loved and know that I am loved. And this should ultimately come from a centering relationship and service to the Lord Jesus Christ. So the fact that I am not feeling this or aware of it, leads me to think that I do indeed have a very, very long way to go in following Him. And I pray that someday I will actually be able to serve Him well and in love. Until then, here's to keeping on trying.

Untitled and Unfinished

Time and the Enemy deliver a crushing blow,

For opportunities lost, long ago,

I stand here trying to clutch,

The remnants of my broken soul.

Short Thank You To My Core Team

I have been blessed with an amazing Core Team this year at St. Thomas Aquinas in College Station Texas. I wrote this thank you to them, and I wanted to share more of the reflection like excerpts. Christ is King. Jesus Saves. Praise God for His Mercy.

-

I am very grateful to all of you for everything that you have done this year to volunteer with our teens. I cannot express how much you have helped me in really working to show Jesus to these teens. I pray that you will continue to have a blessed Advent as it draws to a close, and a wonderful Christmas as we celebrate our Lord’s nativity. The antiphon for the Invitatory in the Liturgy of the Hours for this time of year is: “The Lord is close at hand; come, let us worship him.” That is something that I really want to encourage all of you to do. As we get closer and closer to Christmas, and our lives continue to get busier with preparations, family, friends, and activities, I really encourage you to take a moment to be still with the Lord.

Through the Psalmist, the Lord has told us: “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10) Oftentimes around Christmas, we get caught up in everything that we are doing, did we set up the tree? How are the cooking preparations? Did I wrap the presents? Are they ready for Christmas? Did I remember to buy the presents? When are we traveling? Have we packed everything? Did we forget anything? Do we need to go back for what we forgot? Are we there yet? All of these things are important as we get ready to celebrate the Nativity of our Lord with family and friends. But it would be good for us to pause and remember, why we are celebrating the Nativity of our Lord.

In St. John’s Gospel we are taught that “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not an thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shown in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:1-5) We remember that the reason for the Nativity was the Crucifixion and Resurrection. We remember, that we were lost in darkness without hope, and that God came to us. We remember that the Lord of the universe has offered Love to us by coming to us. This Love which is radical, beautiful, and transcendent has made a profound impact on our lives as the Lord has entered into relationship with us. And we are left to be able to share this Love and relationship with others all around us. So as we eagerly move into the week of Christmas, let us remember to pause be still with God who is our Savior, rejoicing that He has saved us from darkness.

I am so grateful to you! And everything that you have done this year! There is not a way that I can adequately thank you for everything that you have done for our teens and programs. Going into Christmas, I love the image of the shepherds who were given the glorious news of the Birth of Christ! I pray that we will have the same joy as those noble shepherds in sharing the good news of Jesus and worshiping God! Please contact me if you have any questions or need anything over this Christmas break. I am very grateful for you and love each of you. I leave you with the account of the Shepherds at Christmas.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night,. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach among those with whom he is pleased!”

When the angles went away form them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they say it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

- Luke 2:8-20

Lonely

It's incredibly hard to learn, that people will not be there for you.

That sometimes, even people you consider your closest friends, will not be there for you. Usually this is painful because they have been there for you in the past, but when that changes, it is something that can be really hard to deal with.

Because you're alone.

You can even be with those people, hanging out with them, sitting across the table from them, and still be alone. And that's hard.

Because you're alone.

We Shall Fight

Winston Churchill famously said:

We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the Old.

Speech in the House of Commons (4 June 1940).

This is a really famous quotation about the resolve of the British Empire and people in the face of the evil tyranny of National Socialism as it swept across the continent. I think that in the Church we can still take some inspiration from this tenacity:

We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Europe, we shall fight on the airwaves and internet, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in world, we shall defend our Church, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the airwaves, we shall fight in our schools and in our workplaces, we shall fight in our homes; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, our country or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Church beyond our shores, armed and guarded by the Holy Spirit, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and liberation of the Old.

God helps us to Love

We really are left in a great journey trying to understand what love is, how it works, and the way that things can come out of it. I have really been left in a great gap over the past year. And in that gap I have realized that I am also being wrapped up in the love of Christ. This realization has not come easily. In fact it is something that has been very hard won. But Christ has helped to cultivate good things in my heart.

I am very grateful for the faith community of St. Mary's Catholic Church. This environment has been good for me in several ways. Here I was received into the Full Communion of the Church. Here I fell in love, and I also lost that. But I have come to realize, objectively at least, that the entire time I was really being wrapped up in love.

Today is the 50th anniversary of the deaths of President John F. Kennedy, author Aldous Huxley, and Christian apologist C. S. Lewis. All three of these men left their marks on society and culture. How we as people interact with the world and with each other. But Lewis left us something else, understanding in how to approach God when it comes to love.

I grew up in a very loving Christian home, and one of the things that we always got to do was learn lessons of life from stories. Tales of adventure and valor, quests of intrigue and mystery. Lewis was the author of some of the first stories that I read. From Lewis, I learned about Aslan, how he was not a tame Lion, but that He is Good. Later on I learned that I needed to learn to know Him in my world, by a different Name, and come to Love Him even more.

I am very thankful to Lewis for teaching me these things about God. About how much we mean to Him. And how in a very concise thought, he can show us how God teaches us to Love.

God lends us a little of His reasoning powers and that is how we think: He puts a little of His love into us and that is how we love one another. When you teach a child writing, you hold its hand while it forms the letters: that is, it forms the letters because you are forming them. We love and reason because God loves and reasons and holds our hand while we do it. - Mere Christianity

We are all so dependent upon God. For absolutely everything. He is Love, and so He helps us to Love. God is teaching us to Love. Thanks be to God. May we love Him with complete devotion and passion.

The Terrible Darkness

Darkness is such that I really do not see - neither with my mind nor with my reason. - The place of God in my soul is blank. - There is no God in me. - When the pain of longing is so great - I just long & long for God - and then it is that I feel - He does not want me - He is not there. - ... God does not want me. - Sometimes - I just hear my own heart cry out - "My God" and nothing else comes. - The torture and pain I can't explain. 
- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, M.C.

Going Home

I can't even begin to describe my feelings yet. But I can share the thoughts of someone else, far more eloquent and ready than I am at this point. More than I think I will be actually. Thank you James, for sharing your heart.

Quick Update about my letter to TAC

Just a quick update about the letter that I sent to TAC. As of this morning I had still not received any response from the Texas Aggie Conservatives regarding the letter that I sent them Thursday. Because a lot of people have asked, here is a link to the email that I received Thursday morning.  As of today, I sent another email with the same message to all of the contacts listed by TAC on their Contact Page. At this point, I am really just interested in finding out how they justify their actions, not their position. I actually agree with a lot of what they think, but the way that they go about things by demanding less liberal speakers and calling the university as pushing agendas is just frustrating. What do you expect? People to not act in accordance with their worldview? That's nonsense. Can a conservative learn from a liberal? Yes. Can a liberal learn from a conservative? Yes. Are we all in university and able to ascertain for ourselves how things align with our world views? Yes. Is this attack going to change someone's mind? I  really don't think so. I actually don't want to be associated with super radicals personally. Hopefully, I am wrong about all of this and I have misinterpreted everything that happened. But I won't know this until I get contact back by TAC. Which I really do hope will happen. Then maybe people can start thinking more about working together, as opposed to destroying the opposition because of different political opinions.

An Open Letter to Texas Aggie Conservatives

EDIT: As of Saturday, 26 Jan 13, I still had no response from the TAC. Here is a copy of their email for people who did not receive it.

This morning I received an email from the Texas Aggie Conservatives. A well meaning group of people who I believe are terribly out of touch with society and need to curb their aggressive stance against liberalism. They wanted me to sign a petition which would ask for a limit to liberal speakers at sponsored TAMU events. To be perfectly honest, I am deeply conservative. However, I will not, and CANNOT, in good conscience support a cause which would limit the free speech of fellow Americans and Aggies. This is not right. And so I wrote a letter expressing my distaste for what I found in my email. The text of this letter is below. Cheers. Thanks and Gig 'Em.

______________________________________________________________

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This morning I received an email from your organization, specifically from your Chairman, Mr. Eric Schroeder.

While I thank you for the time that you took in order to write in such detail about deep issues that bother and concern you, I must say that I cannot in good conscience sign your petition or support your organization anymore.

Though you may have found the comments of Mr. Glover and Dr. Loftin deplorable, I find your response to be unsettling at best and more akin to something incredibly alarming.

Your petition is a travesty. You are requesting for the viewpoints of your fellow Americans to be obstructed, simply because you have not been able to communicate your own viewpoints with same level of media attention or volume. This is not something that you should be proud of.

If I may I would like to direct your attention to an excerpt from the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

If that does not remind you of the way that people should be free to express themselves then may I humbly offer the following:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

           - Amendment I, Constitution of the United States

In short, you are asking for me, and other Aggies, to sign a petition that would limit the freedom of speech which is guaranteed to every American. The freedom of expression which is one of the ideals spoken about in the Declaration of Independence. And the very freedom of ideas and thoughts which is part of our community of learners as a flagship university in our great State of Texas.

In regards to your claims about the History Department at Texas A&M University, I feel the need to reassure you. As a History Major let me assure you that I have taken numerous courses that have extensively covered military, diplomatic, religious, and intellectual issues. In fact, these courses were taught by professors who are not only experts in their field, and not only share their passion for learning with their students, but also ensure that their students form their own, logical and methodical way of thinking, writing, and speaking critically about any kind of topic that they might encounter. The History Department might have contributed to many of the speakers that you disagree with, but the History Department is also completely dedicated to preparing students to be critically thinking leaders after graduation from Texas A&M University.

Lastly, you mentioned how Christian organizations were not eligible for student funding. If you are Christians, and you are worried about the world hating you, then fear not!  Remember these words from our Lord:

If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

                                                                   - John 15:18-19 ESV

Thank you very much for your time and consideration of this letter. I hope that it finds you well! I would greatly appreciate any feedback that you would send and I am anticipating a reply eagerly. I merely ask that you stop attempting to spread hate between Aggies, and instead work to find mutual ground that all Aggies and Americans can stand upon. Thanks and Gig 'Em.

Very Respectfully Yours,

Timothy K. Walker '12

Great Thoughts About Life

This morning I was reading and found some great thoughts about what it is like to lose loved ones. I know that it can be very difficult. For me this is timely as I have seen loved ones lost very recently, and it is also the anniversary of when my family lost several loved ones in a quick succession. Fortunately for us, we do not serve One who is removed. Our Great Father knows us intimately, be He also knows intimately what it is like to losed a Loved One. Praise to Him and all glory to His Name.

Reepicheep: Some honest thoughts about the death of ones you love

Boys and Girls

I'm in the third chapter of Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge, and I have been struck by one of the ideas that they really support. The idea that men and women each have a specific question that they ask themselves, the answer of which will reflect pieces of the nature of God which has been embedded within themselves.

Boys ask 'Do I have what it takes?'

Girls ask 'Am I lovely?'

I really think that this is interesting. I am really enamored with this book. The story is somewhat heart wrenching at times. I cannot imagine some of the agony that we place on women at times. It has to stop. This generation needs to rise up, take hold of it's responsibility, and come alive to protect the rights of people. The Church needs to rise to be City on a Hill.

Stories

I really like books (honestly these things are connected). Books have tons of stories in them! I really like stories, I think all people like stories (thank you Eldridges).

Life is a story. People love stories. Think about all the different stories that you heard when you growing up. Think about all of the fairy tales that you read or watched. Think about the stories that you would ask mom and dad to tell you or to read you. They were relatable. Because people like stories, our lives are stories.

Our stories usually start with Once Upon a Time and then end with They lived happily ever after. But what happens in between those phrases? Life happens! And that is where all the questions that people ask are answered! This is where people ask who they are, where they have been, and where they are going. And the hero's questions are answered, the princess is saved, the people rise victorious, and evil is bested.

I am currently reading a lot more books than I have in recent memory. I am remembering my love of stories! But not only stories, books about my story. Jon and Stasi Eldrige are reminding me about the nature of human hearts, the Divine nature that is in each of us as Images of God, in Captivating and Wild at Heart. Francis Chan is reminding me about the nature of God, the nature of man's relationship to that God, and the absolute necessity of God's Grace in Crazy Love and Forgotten God. Timothy Keller is helping to bolster my conviction that God is absolutely necessary. While science and modern philosophy are becoming more and more at strife with the religious community we are also met with an explosion of violence and hate across all levels of society that prove more than ever that we need The Reason for God to explain to us, actually, remind us, of why things happen. Why evil is all around us. Why things are hard. Because. We failed. And we fell. But, there is hope. Because God saved us. And J.R.R. Tolkien helps me to remember the need for books and stories. The Hobbit is a simple tale about adventure and fellowship. Is that not what we are? Friends on a journey? We are all pilgrims on the great celestial road! Some will leave us before others. Some will find themselves Home before us. But we, Christians, are in this together.

This weekend I was reminded of a noble lady. And her life and her story. I have some dear friends at home. A precious family that my family has been close too as long as I can remember. these people are probably some of the noblest that I can think of besides my parents. And this week they laid their grandmother to rest. As I watched the woman who has become my aunt silently weep, clutching her husband, as she said goodbye to her mother, I was struck by the stories of the noble lady again. As she lay in hospice, in the last days of her life, after battling disease for 25 years, a social worker asked: 'How did you do it? All these years?" Her eyes flew open, she said "Because I believe in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He gives me grace for each and every day. I have no idea how people can live like this without the Lord." and then closed her eyes again. A respit, until the Great Rest.

I was struck. By the severity of this comment. This woman's story was of love and devotion to God and her family and friends. O, that I would learn not only form this example, but also those of the others around me. That I would harken to the promises of God! I am so preoccupied with my momentary afflictions, and my desires, and small problems. Oh that I would relish in The Struggle. That I would relish the refining process and the work of the Potter! She was truly a noble lady.

I deeply hope that that I am marked by this reminder. That these books I am reading will remind me of stories. And that I would become more focused again, on my own story. Because, there are monsters out there. But as G.K. Chesterton told us, they can be beaten.

School

Basically just that. I believe that school is awful. Mainly Exams. I should probably go finish studying and attend mine now.

A Wild Bellsprout Appears!: Beginnings

HOLY COW SHE DID IT!!!!!!!

A Wild Bellsprout Appears!: Beginnings: Hello world. I'm not much of a writer. To be frank, I'm not much of anything. I'm starting this little project to humor a friend who think...

Alert Nerdism!

This month has been an incredible month for nerdy things!!!!!!! Harry Potter and Captain AMERICA!!!!! ZOUNDS! It's as if the nerdiness will never end! And that my friends is a good thing lol. Long live nerdom! May it never cease to be awesome!

What is Christianity?

What is the true nature of our faith? Is it something that the Protestants found amidst corruption in the Reformation? Or is it something else? Is it something more? Is it possible that we were wrong and that Christianity had existed together and solid, continuous for the past 2,000 years? Maybe I have been wrong.

Everything that I have ever believed for the most part about a mass was destroyed last week. I saw something that was definitely strange to me but not entirely alien. It had something about it. It was strangely beautiful. I was just surprised and kind of awed by what I saw.

I don't claim to understand it all. All I know is the Bible and I know only a little of that. But I do know that I saw love. A great deal of love. And that seems to be the only tangible thing that I can see. That is what astounded me. I am surprised. I am nervous. But mostly, I am curious.

Honor

It is what I aspire for. For the Glory of God. Did that age pass me by? Did I come into the wrong time for that to happen? Or are the great ideals and great battles timeless? Is there still a place in the world for one who longs to destroy evil? Is there still a place in the world for a warrior of righteousness?

Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter

Harry Potter. Wow. Just wow. What a magnificent ending :)

Thoughts

"You don't spend enough time on yourself."

"You are too selfless."

"You don't believe in yourself."